Intrapersonal conflict is conflict that arises within one person. It involves uncertainty about what is expected or wanted, or a sense of inadequacy to perform a task. In organizations, intrapersonal conflict,
 
“Occurs when an organizational member is required to perform certain tasks and roles that do not match with his or her expertise, interests, goals and values.” (Rahim, 2015, p. 22)
 
Most organizational team members face the challenge of coping with this type of conflict every day. If left unmitigated, it can have negative impacts on the individual and organization. However, there are things that the organization and the individual’s supervisor can do to support employees with managing this type of conflict.
 
Types of Intrapersonal Conflict – Decision-Making
 
Organizational team members face intrapersonal conflict in decision-making almost every day. Whether that individual must choose between two appealing alternatives, one appealing and one unappealing alternative, or two unappealing alternatives, the decision-making process can create anxiety and uncertainty.
 
Supporting Team Members with Decision-Making
When team members are experiencing intrapersonal conflict related to decision-making, managers can support their people by empowering them and helping them build decision-making skills. Here are some things to try:

- Discuss decision principles to help guide your team member in the decision-making process. These might include

• What is the decision itself?
• When does the decision need to be made by?
• What are the options?
• What is the evidence – from direct experience and analytics?
• What are your criteria for the decision?
• Who are your stakeholders

- Clarify decision-making roles – what are the roles, rights and accountability for the particular decision they are confronted with?
- Show your belief in them – set your team member up to be successful. This might include

• Consider whether they’re ready to take on this decision responsibility
• Encourage them to think expansively and consider new perspectives
• Share insight
• Be available to consult with them
• Give your support even if the outcome isn’t what you had hoped for

 
Types of Intrapersonal Conflict – Role Conflict
 
A role is the behaviour and attitudes expected of a person who occupies a given position or status. For example, a given manager’s role may include supervising team members, managing schedules and supporting excellent customer service. Role conflict occurs when a person in a particular role is required to perform two or more roles that present contrasting, contradictory or even mutually exclusive activities.
 
Unmitigated role conflict can lead to numerous emotional costs including
- Low job satisfaction
- Low confidence
- Tension and anxiety
- Lack of confidence in the organization
- Feel powerless to influence decision-making
 
It also can lead to behavioural costs such as
- Withdrawal or avoidance of those who are seen as creating the conflict (ie. Managers)
- Lack of job investment and commitment to the organization
- Increased desire to leave the job and/or organization
 
Supporting Team Members with Role Conflict
 
Role conflict develops when individual goals and role expectations don’t match up. This can arise from sources such as organizational structure, supervisory style, misassignment of tasks and inappropriate demand on capacity. Managers and business owners can help team members resolve role conflict through both role analysis and job design.
 
Role Analysis involves clarifying the details of a specific role with input from multiple members of the organization. When conducting a role analysis, you will want to clarify
- The purpose of the role
- The perception of the role
- Expectations of the person in the role for those around them
- Expectations of the person in the role for themselves
- The role profile
 
By clarifying expectations and the day-to-day purpose and perception, role conflict can be minimized.
 
Job design involves planning of the job, including its contents, the methods of performing the job and how it relates to other jobs in the organization. Job design is two-fold, including job engineering and job enrichment.
 
Job engineering involves developing robust, accurate job descriptions that can help align expectations among stakeholders.
 
Job enrichment means improving motivational factors such as achievement, recognition, responsibility, advancement, and opportunity for growth. Factors that managers can help employees address include
- Skill variety
- Task identity
- Task significance
- Autonomy
- Feedback
 
Intrapersonal conflict is something that most organizational team members face each day. When unmitigated it can have far reaching impacts on many parts of the organization. By supporting employees with decision-making and role conflict, managers and business owners can help employees through intrapersonal conflict and build skills along the way.
 
 
Resources
 
Lancefield, David. “5 Strategies to Empower Employees to Make Decisions.” Harvard Business Review, 20 Mar. 2023, hbr.org/2023/03/5-strategies-to-empower-employees-to-make-decisions.
 
M Afzalur Rahim. Managing Conflict in Organizations. New Brunswick (U.S.A.), Transaction Publishers, 2015.

In last week’s blog we covered one of our human needs: identity. This week we talk more generally about human needs and how they impact conflict’s existence and our individual approach to conflict engagement. As well, we cover how to communicate your needs in a way that reduces resentment, improves relationships, and resolves conflict more effectively.
 
As Mayer (2012) discusses, human needs drive people’s actions, including their approach to conflict. Maslow’s (1954) hierarchy of human needs suggested that before we can focus our awareness son attaining higher-level needs, more basic needs must be met. His hierarchy is often expressed as a pyramid, with our most basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter at the bottom, followed by security needs, social needs and finally the need for esteem and self-esteem, or self-actualization.
 
Mayer (2012) argues that Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs doesn’t account for instances where human needs don’t line up with a neat hierarchy. Instead, he suggests three overlapping types of needs to help conceptualize what motivates people in conflict. These include survival needs, identity needs and interests.
 
Survival needs include our fundamental concerns about safety and security, as well as concerns over food, shelter and clothing.
 
Identity needs are those that we all have to preserve a sense of self – of who we are and our place in the world. There are four elements of identity, including meaning, community, intimacy and autonomy. Some conflicts can’t be resolved unless identity needs are addressed.
 
Finally, interests are often the most easily accessible or observable type of need and lie at the heart of most negotiations. These are the practical concerns that drive participants in most conflicts. We all have different types of interests – short-term, long-term, individual and group, outcome-based interests, process interests, conscious and unconscious interests. These types of interests can be further broken down into substantive (concerns about tangible benefits), procedural (concerns about a process for interacting, communicating or decision-making) and psychological (concerns about how one is treated, respected or acknowledged) interests.
 
Communicating our Needs
 
To increase the chance of having our needs met and reduce the chance of unhealthy conflict, we need to effectively communicate these needs to others. When we communicate our needs, we want to connect it to a feeling that it stimulates in us.
 
Formula for Communicating Needs
 
Feeling + Need that isn’t being met + Request for Need (action or change needed)
 
Feeling:
"I'm feeling exhausted"

Need not being met:
"Because my workload is too high right now"

Request for need:
"Could I take tomorrow off?" (I need a day off) or
"Could I have support with “x” item?" (I need support with my work)

 
By expressing how we are feeling, we can reduce resentment, improve relationships by expressing vulnerability and resolve conflicts more effectively (Rosenberg, 2003).
 
Human needs are a key to the conflict puzzle. Needs drive people’s actions, including the ways in which they engage in conflict. By addressing and communicating about needs, we can reduce conflict with others and improve our working relationships.
 
 
Resources
 
Mayer, B. S. (2012). The Dynamics of Conflict: A Guide to Engagement and Intervention. John Wiley & Sons.
 
Rosenberg, M. B., & Chopra, D. (2015). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships. PuddleDancer Press.

Human needs drive people’s actions, including how they engage in conflict. When our human needs are threatened, we are more likely to engage in conflict behaviours.
 
Identity is one of our fundamental needs as humans. It is essential to our sense of self and is at the core of what makes us, ‘us’. How we describe our identities reflects how we see ourselves and how we want others to perceive us.
 
Identities are constructed from various traits and experiences, many of which are subject to interpretation. Which means, what is important to your identity may not be an important part of another person’s identity, or it may change over time.
 
For example, when I was a teenager and into my early 20’s, being an athlete was a very important part of my identity. As I worked towards playing hockey at the university level, and once I achieved that goal, many of the things I did in my day-to-day life was centered on this part of my identity. Now, 10 years later, that identity element is less important, but that experience, and the habits I developed (determination, hard work, teamwork) is still central to how I define myself. Comparatively, other people who participate in sport may not define themselves as an athlete I the same way.
 
Another example – In the last 2 years I became a mother to a hilarious, smart little girl. Prior to that, I would not have had ‘mother’ as part of my identity. But now, it is a very important, fundamental part of who I am and impacts the way I approach my day-to-day life.
 
As we can see, identity can change over time and elements that are important to our identity, may not be central to others’ identities.
 
Other parts of identity might include

• What work we do
• Type of life we lead
• Marital or parental status
• Political affiliations
• Religious beliefs
• Race
• Educational or vocational designations etc.

 
Essentially, identity is our perception of how we ‘show up’ in the world.
 
Identity Needs
 
Identity needs are those needs we all have to preserve a sense of who we are and our place in the world (our identity). Mayer (2012) identifies four elements of identity, including the needs for:

• Meaning: establishing a purpose for one’s life, existence, actions, and struggles
• Community: derives from feeling connected with groups with which one can identify and in which one feels recognized
• Intimacy: need for another layer of connectivity
• Autonomy: need for a sense of independence, freedom, and individuality

 
When someone undermines or challenges what is important to us about our identities, conflict may result. Comments that undermine our identities can impact how we react and the importance or severity we place on an interaction – it can quickly escalate a conflict situation. This also means that some conflicts can’t be effectively dealt with unless identity needs are fully addressed. In these instances, it can be very helpful to enlist the services of a third party, such as a mediator to help address these needs.
 
Identity can also lead to inter-group conflict. In these cases, opponents assign an identity to themselves and their adversaries, each side believing the fight is between ‘us’ and ‘them’. In workplaces, this may look like groups defined by job title, project or subject area, social preferences, age etc. Just like our non-work identities, a typical employee will be a part of a few groups during their career.
 
Awareness is Key!
Being aware of our identities and what is most important to us can help us begin to recognize our triggers. Once we’re aware of our triggers, the potential that our conflict engagement is more positive, goes up significantly.
 
For business owners and managers in the workplace, it’s important to become aware of the identities present for your staff. By increasing your awareness of how your staff define their identities, you can work to mitigate conflict and prevent the ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ mentality from developing.
 
Want to develop more awareness of your own identity and how it impacts how you show up in conflict? Try conflict coaching.
 
Think that workplace identities are impacting your team’s ability to get along and complete projects? Contact us today for an organizational consultation.
 
 
Resources
 
The Dynamics of Conflict – Bernard Mayer (Link)
 
Beyond Intractability – Website (Link)