Performance conversations are often a source of stress and anxiety for managers and business owners. These conversations can be challenging – especially when an employee’s performance is less than desirable. These conversations can range from little things, like reminders to be at work on time or can be bigger concerns around repeatedly not meeting expectations. We would classify these as ‘difficult conversations’.
 
What is a difficult conversation?
A difficult conversation is one in which the needs, wants, opinions or perceptions of involved parties are diverse. Often, emotions are running high, and these situations can be sources of conflict if not approached in the right way.
 
So, what can you do to make these ‘difficult conversations’ easier? Today’s blog will discuss a few things to keep in mind when approaching performance conversations – the Who, Why, When, Where & How.
 
The Who – Knowing your Employee
One of the first questions to ask yourself is – who am I meeting with? Knowing your employee will go a long way to setting up your conversation for success. A few things to consider:
-How do they like to receive feedback?
-What have they been successful at recently? What have they been working on? This can help to frame the conversation within the context of the bigger picture.
 
The Why
Clarifying your own thoughts, position and reasoning on the topic helps you to clarify why you’re having this conversation and will help you to stay on track and focused. It also helps you to avoid emotion-fuelled statements that may increase tension within the conversation.
 
The When & Where
Deciding when and where to have the conversation can have an important impact on setting both you and your employee up for success. In terms of where to have the conversation, you will want to aim for somewhere private, where you won’t be interrupted by others and somewhere where both you and your employee will be comfortable. As for when to have the conversation, depending on the content and urgency, you will want to ask your self – do you want to have this conversation at the start or end of the day? At the beginning or end of the week?
 
The How
Perhaps most importantly, you want to consider how best to have the performance conversation with your employee. You want to structure your conversation so that they can hear you and be receptive to the feedback. A few things to consider:

• Tone: You want to work at setting a tone of growth – this feedback that you are providing is to help them improve and grow. Try to stay positive and future-oriented throughout.
• Listen First: You may be surprised with what your employee knows about themselves and their performance. They may be able to identify their areas of growth that you are seeing as well. The best strategy – start with a question, for example: How are you doing at work?
• Work Collaboratively: Once you’ve identified the area(s) for growth, work collaboratively with your employee to identify a solution. Ask them how you can support them in reaching the expectations identified and check back in with them regularly to follow up on their progress.

 
Feedback and performance conversations can be difficult for employers and managers to approach. However, by keeping in mind the who, why, when, where & how, you can work to make these situations easier to approach.

Negotiation is a daily part of owning a small business or working in a non-profit. Whether you’re negotiating a contract with a client, discussing a pay raise with an employee or delegating job tasks within your team, negotiation skills are a valuable asset.
 
Have you ever been in a negotiation where both sides are locked into a position and stubbornly refuse to see the other side? If so, you’re not alone. A common approach to negotiation is to dig-in to your position in order to get the other party to ‘chicken out’. Alternatively, some people when negotiating will concede important points to the other side in order to preserve the relationship. Neither of these are effective in building long-term solutions.
 
Why avoid arguing over positions?

• It produces unwise and unsustainable outcomes
• It is inefficient
• It endangers the ongoing relationship

 
These impacts are even further magnified when multiple parties and interests are present.
 
What can you do instead?
 
Fisher & Ury (1981) advocate for a four-point strategy to help negotiations move forward from locked-in positions. These strategies will help to put your negotiations on a positive path.
 
1. People: separate the people from the problem.

Fisher & Ury urge readers to disentangle any personal problems from the substantive issues and if possible, deal with them separately. This can be a difficult task, as people may not be aware of their emotions or how the history of the relationship impacts the negotiation. It may be helpful to consult a conflict coach who can help you identify the emotional aspects of the negotiation for both you and the other party. (Contact us if you’d like to learn more about conflict coaching!)
 
2. Interests: focus on interests, not positions.

When we are negotiating, we want to get away from stated positions and look at the interests that are underlying. For example, when negotiating a salary increase with an employee, they may be stuck on a certain number that you can’t afford to go above. But upon further discussion, you may discover that they are seeking that higher salary because they have unexpected medical costs they need to cover or because they feel as though they are not valued at the company. By finding out what underlies their position, you may be able to find some creative solutions that are mutually agreeable. Check out this guide for more support with Salary & Compensation Conversations. 
 
3. Options: invent multiple options, looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do.
 
Where possible, set aside designated time to think of possible solutions that satisfy shared interests and work to reconcile differing or competing interests. The more time you invest to creatively come up with solutions, the more likely you are to find something that is mutually agreeable and sustainable long-term.
 
4. Criteria: insist that the result be based on some objective standard.
 
Negotiations can get hung up on who is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. By having the agreement reflect some fair standard independent of the will of either negotiator (example: market value, expert opinion or law) you can increase the buy-in of both parties.
 
 
Negotiating is a daily part of business. Doing it well can make a big difference for the success of your business or organization. Fisher & Ury offer some helpful strategies for improving your negotiation and finding mutually agreeable, long-term solutions.
 
If you find that your negotiations are stalled or not progressing the way you’d hoped, reach out and let us know how we can help!

Resources
Fisher, R., Ury, W. (1981). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. Penguin Books.